6/30/2010

Mean Girls



 A couple of Saturdays ago, Husband & I went to my 30th high school reunion.  At the suggestion of one of our classmates, we had an "open mike" for about 15-30 minutes.  Anyone who wanted could get up and relive a memory or say whatever was on their mind.  One of my classmates that I had known forever (I don't remember a time when I didn't know  her) got  up in front of everybody.  She said that she had been talking to a friend of hers a couple of days before, and they were talking about the reunion.  Her friend asked her who the mean girl of our class was.  My classmate  said she thought about it for a while,and then she realized it was her!  She apologized to everybody for being the "mean girl".
So, I started thinking about the whole "Mean Girl" thing.  I really don't think of her as being mean.  I told her that if she was mean to me, it went right over my head  and I had no idea she had been mean to me.  We had gone our different ways many years  before.  There was no animosity;  our lives just went on different tracks.  But, I still  counted her as one of my closest friends.  And, I stood up for her as if she was  my sister.
I could point out many girls  who said or did something mean to me during our jr. high and high school years; things that knocked the self-confidence out of me and made me feel inferior to everybody else.  Then, ashamed, I thought about the things I had said or had done to other people in my class.  Haven't we all been "mean girls" at some point in our life?  Isn't that just part of growing up?
When I was  in the latter  years of my high school, I didn't really hang out with the girls in my class.  I was never much of a drama queen:  I have no use  for it, which is why I'm pretty sure God just gave me boys!  I hung out with people older & younger than I.  By the time I was a senior, I was sooo over high school.  I was ready to move on  and get on with my life.
Yesterday a co-worker and I were talking about high school.  We both came to the conclusion that if we had to do one part  of our school life  over, we'd much rather do college than high school.  What would you choose and why?

19 comments:

  1. WOW... that had to take a LOT of guts for your friend to even get up & admit that in front of everyone. But yeah, I think in that age period & in that environment, most people ARE those mean girls at one time or another...

    I actually would like to do high school over again knowing what I know now... but I think the envirnoment would still corrupt me to make stupid decisions all over again... ugh...

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  2. I really enjoyed that movie.

    As much as I hate to admit it, I don't remember you ever being a drama queen. MEAN, yes -- at least to me! But I have no idea about your classmates.

    I agree -- as much as I hated high school at the time, I'd rather reboot college than high school.

    BTW, my high school reunion is coming up -- the weekend after the 4th. I haven't figured out if we'll have time to see family, but we might...

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  3. Well I loved college but I don't think I want any do overs.

    I played your game of tag on my blog today : )

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  4. there are parts of high school I would do over. I had a pretty hard jr/sr year though because of some life stuff my dad was going through. Life was good, always is even through tough situations, but if I could go back I think my outlook on life at the time would be different (hopefully!).
    But I do dread the "mean girl" garb with my daughter. Believe it or not we dealt with some even as early as kindergarten and 1st grade. I just hope we have a much better 2nd grade year of school than we did 1st.

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  5. Hi Mary, what a great post..I think being 'mean' and treating others 'meanly' is a small part of growing up and figuring out who you are..where it gets nasty is when it turns into bullying, I think.

    I would not repeat high school. No way!

    Thanks for stopping by my mom's blog and saying hi. I have been coaching her a bit on the art of blogging, but I am sure no expert!
    thanks again!
    have a great day
    Barb

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  6. I would do college again in a heart beat, but no amount of money could make me go back to high school. It was most definately not the best years of my life.

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  7. College without a doubt. And I completely agree about the drama thing...I think that is why I got boys too. Great post, Mary. You got me thinking!

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  8. I have a feeling your friend may not have been the "mean girl" she thought she was...I knew mean girls and they are STILL mean and would not admit it. :)
    I know for sure I was not mean in school, I was bullied by a few of the meanies in school though.

    I did not go to college, so yeah, I would do that part over.

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  9. We didn't have any mean girls in our class but there was one particular girl a grade ahead of me that endeavored to make life miserable for as many people as she possibly could, it seemed, me included.
    I didn't go to college, so I'd like to do high school over knowing what I know now! Oh yeah! :-)
    And I liked most of my school years, but was really "done" with it all come my senior year. I just wanted OUT!! LOL

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  10. I think I would love to say when I was a child I acted like a child and as an adult,I have it all figured out.

    However I still find myself acting out of my own selfish pride, wants, and feelings, instead of looking towards Christ and seeing how he would like me to treat others, or act -even towards mean girls. This is so hard to do!! (not when their actions are directed towards me, but when my daughter's complain about mean girls treating them badly) I think it is something we have to continue to work on, especially depending on who is in our life at the time. Just watch Real housewives of New Jersey to see how peoples actions can get out of hand! love your post!

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  11. I would choose high school, if I could take my wisdom of now with me. I hated high school because of the mean girls. I hated the pettiness of it.

    If I could go back, I would not date (boys are no good until college or beyond), and I would probably be more of a loner of my own choosing instead of being a loner because of everyone's meanness.

    Does that make sense?

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  12. If I had to pick one it would be college, no doubt. I wouldn't redo high school again for anything!

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  13. I don't know. I think I'd like to do high school again, but only knowing what I know now and having the experiences I do now.

    College I dropped out of pretty quick. Mostly because it was too expensive and I didn't need it for my dream job so why pay the money? I finished about 4 classes for the experience but I'm glad I don't have a bunch of student debt now.

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  14. I don't think I would want to do either one over. Wouldn't really want to revisit the high school years again and college was great just the way I left it.

    My 25th reunion is two weekends away. I'll be seeing Eric there hopefully. And I hope I'm not called out as the "mean girl". I'm pretty sure I wasn't THE mean girl, but I'm sure I had my moments!

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  15. Absolutely would not want to do high-school over again... Well, only if I could opt to be homeschooled. ;)

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  16. Wow! Kuddos to the "mean girl" for growing up and apologizing.

    Gosh...if I could edit the tape of life from both high school and college (geese) I have to say I'd do both over again...totally deleating the mean stuff.

    But I guess that pretty much goes for all stages in my life! Only with age comes wisdom, right?

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  17. I might do high school. But more than likely I'd redo the first few years of my marriage. If we'd made different decisions then, life would be easier and more secure now.

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  18. Hi Mary! Thanks for stopping by my blog the other day. Hmmmm I graduated in the early 70s and of course, we had Mean Girls then too. I just always figured their bad karma was going to catch up with them sooner or later, and when I attended my 20th reunion many moons ago, it had. Ooops! Already a follower of your blog. :) Pam @ Sallygoodin

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  19. I agree 100% I would hate going back to HS.

    I think it's human nature to knock others down to build yourself up at that age (and maybe others, too, I suppose.) The truly mean girls get that way because none of their friends stand up to them. It's sad, and I see it all the time.

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