6/28/2011

Debby Downer

Yesterday afternoon I finally got around to checking out Facebook.  A friend of mine posted a link to a newspaper article about the former priest at the parish we attended in SC.  He had passed away on Saturday.  He was such a sweet, dear man.  Our loss is certainly heaven's gain.
While I was looking for the funeral arrangements, I got a message from another friend in SC.  She let me know that the son of some friends had been in a wakeboarding accident.  It didn't look good.  By the time I had chatted with the first friend, found the arrangements, and checked out a few other things, I got a message from friend #2 that the boy had passed away.  He was 19; the same age as MS.  He had a brother who is the same age as OS.  In fact, the brothers made their 1st Communion and 1st Reconciliation with my oldest boys (with the priest who had just passed away officiating), as well as going to school with them and CCD (Catholic Sunday School).  We had been in Supper Club with their parents.  You wouldn't find a nicer family than this one.  They are well-known in the community, yet they aren't the kind of people who only act like they know you in certain situations.  Mom is prim & proper; the epitome of a southern belle, even though I think she's from the north.  Both of them would give the shirts off of their backs if they needed to.
To be perfectly honest, I was always a tad bit jealous.  They appeared to be the perfect family:  upper middle class, good kids, close family, nice house.   This absolutely breaks my heart for them.  I spent the whole hour of adoration in tears for them.  The thought that they'll have to walk into their house, see his things, and know that he's gone.  The thought that they'll have to make funeral arrangements for their little boy:  choose music, a suit for burial, and a casket.  The heartbreak they must be going through just rips my heart apart.  I know he's in a better place, but I grieve for the family.  They won't know the joy of seeing him graduate from college, get married, or have kids.  I just keep imagining that Sunday, they woke up and went to Mass, just like every Sunday.  They probably went out for brunch/lunch, and went about their normal Sunday routine...until they got "the" call.  I imagine that they made the 1 hour drive in about half of that time.  He was put on life-support, but there was no brain activity.   I'm assuming they had a decision to make.  A decision that no parent should have to make.  I would hope that the decision was made for them and they were spared that.
My heart goes out to whoever was driving the boat that he was wakeboarding behind.  It also goes out to whoever was with him on the lake.
When MS came into the house, I hugged him harder and a little longer than usual.  Please pray for the family, that they may find peace in God's mercy.

15 comments:

  1. Mary, this is heartbreaking. We don't expect young people in the prime of their lives to be suddenly gone like that. It hits harder when we have children the same age -- worse, when those children played together.

    Prayers for peace.

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  2. Oh no. I will certainly add them to my prayers. This is just devastating.

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  3. Mary, I'm so sorry...and they are in my prayers!

    About a year and a half ago, we found out that a family we knew from church, whose children mine had known since preschool and all through elementary school had tragedy strike. The parents were going through a divorce and one morning, while the mother was taking a shower and getting ready to go to work, the father shot and killed both kids (11 year old girl and 16 year old boy) while they were sleeping and then shot and killed himself.

    It has been such a horrific thing to have to explain to my children and still tears my heart apart to think of my friend discovering her children's bodies.

    Losing a child is just unthinkable and when it happens to someone we know, it rips a hole in our lives. I am praying for your friend and her family as well as for you as you struggle to deal with such sad news.

    Sending you a big old virtual hug!

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  4. Life can be "forever changed" in just a moment. This young man's family will never be the same and it's expected that everyone who knows and loves them will grieve. I am so very sorry Mary. With the loss of the priest and this young man it must feel as though "the sky is falling". *sigh. We are yet reminded that life is precious beyond measure and every day is of great value.
    (((HUGS))). Praying for all involved.

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  5. So heartbreaking. You're all in my prayers. It does make you count your blessings even more, doesn't it?

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  6. How awful! Prayers for sure!

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  7. So very very sorry for your friends...I can't imagine...I'll add them to my prayers.

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  8. How heartbreaking, sending warm and caring thoughts to everyone.

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  9. I am so sorry for your friend's loss of their son; it is any parent's worse nightmare. Yet I know this didn't catch God by surprised and he allowed it for whatever reason, though it is hard for us to understand. I pray that they will have people in their lives that will "love on them" during this time of grief and help them as they continue to grieve his loss and that they will feel God's presence and comfort as they undertake this journey.

    I too would have hugged my son a bit harder when he got home. I know one time at our old church the pastor mentioned after church he was going to have to go and tell parents that their son had completed suicide, a young man close to my son's age. I know the minute I got out of church we called son to make sure he was okay and just to hear his voice.

    Life is so precious and so short.

    betty

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  10. Prayers, Mary. There is nothing so cruel as parents having to bury their children.

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  11. What a terribly sad and tragic story! We will be adding them to our prayer life. Very tragic.

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  12. So sad...I will pray right now.

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  13. Mary, that is such a sad story. I will keep the family in my prayers. If you would like a handkerchief mailed to his mother please let me know.

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