I haven't done a post like this in a while, but a couple of stories in the papers (1 local, 1 from the big city) need to be shared! So, here we have News in/around the Small Town Area:
1) In a town about an hour away from here (and smaller than the Small Town), a woman stabbed her 1st cousin with a pair of scissors because she wanted a relationship, and didn't want to be a "booty call". Yes, I said "1st cousin". At the end of the article, it is reported that the woman had consumed 1/4 bottle of Everclear, and he had consumed 1/2 of the bottle. In his mugshot, he has a couple of bandaids on his face. This town makes the Small Town seem very metropolitan!
2) A woman from a mountain area in the county was arrested for stealing some jeans from Sears; she was seen leaving the store with 3 pairs of jeans in her pocketbook. She got caught because she reported her car stolen from WalMart the next day. She left the car running because she was having problems with the starter, and she reported that it was almost out of gas and the brakes weren't working properly. To top it off, the license plate was for a different car because she borrowed the plate from a friend.
You can't fix stupid, people.